The Guy's A Piglet, But I Love Him

Have you ever experienced "love at first sight"? I met a guy last week that I fell "head over heels in love" with.

When I met my husband in high school, I thought he was cute. He was tall, blond and new to our school. We didn't start dating until the following year. It took months before I ever thought I might grow to love him. This was not "love at first sight". We cultivated our relationship through talks, walks in the national forest, movie dates and hanging out at the Comet drive-in for french fries and cokes. He impressed me with his sensitivity, his humor and his common sense attitude.

The guy I met last week possesses none of those qualities. He doesn't communicate very well. It's hard to understand him when he does speak. Speak? Yell, is more like it. He's either grumpy, hungry or asleep. Even when I try to sweet-talk him into doing something, he ignores me completely. I asked him if he wanted me to fix him something to eat. He turned his head and started yelling. But I love him so much.

His manners could stand improvement. I tried to tell him that sticking his fingers in his mouth wasn't very hygienic. He ignored me and kept on doing it. Then he started yelling at me again. But I love him so much.

He burps without excusing himself, but the worst, though, is the (pardon the expression) tooting! When he's not burping, he's tooting! The smell is worse than what our dog, Ebby, used to produce! But I love him so much.

He slobbers all over his clothes and doesn't ask for a napkin. He won't come to the table to eat. He demands that his food be brought to him at his leisure. But I love him so much.

I never thought I'd fall in love with a guy who's that much trouble. Well, I did once before. I loved his dad that way, too. His dad was just as demanding, just as ill-mannered, just as stinky and just as cute. I'm sure that by the time he's 3 months old, we'll see a marked improvement in him.